As the sun sets each Friday evening, we enter Erev Shabbat (evening of Shabbat), a sacred time and precious gift from God.
This guide is designed to help you and your family celebrate Erev Shabbat in a meaningful way. Whether just starting to learn about Shabbat or continuing a beloved family tradition, you’ll find step-by-step instructions and explanations for each tradition, blessing, and song. Please feel free to personalize our guide to your family’s own taste and traditions.
Our prayer is that Erev Shabbat will become the most beautiful and anticipated part of your week, as you rest, rejoice, and reflect on the goodness of God.
How to Celebrate Erev Shabbat
“Then the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their array. With the seventh day, God completed the work He had done. He ceased on the seventh day from all the work He had done. God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because on it He ceased from all His work He had created to do.” (Genesis 2:1-3)
After six days of creation, God set a divine example for humanity by resting on the seventh day. Shabbat is a universal and sacred gift—set apart by God as a time of rest, joy, and renewal in His presence (Exodus 20:8-11). In addition, the Shabbat is a weekly returning foretaste of the ‘eternal Shabbat.’ Hebrews 4:9-11 encourages us to “make every effort to enter that rest.”
Before Shabbat, we finish our everyday work and prepare by cleaning our home, cooking a festive meal, showering, and dressing in nice Shabbat clothes. In the Bible, a day begins at sunset, so Shabbat starts at sundown on Friday with ‘Erev Shabbat’ and ends after sunset on Saturday, with the ‘Havdalah’ ceremony.
Shabbat ‘Ingredients’
What you need for Shabbat:
- festive Shabbat table
- nice meal
- candles
- kiddush cup with wine or grape juice
- challah bread, challah cover, and salt
- hand washing cup and small towel (optional)
Celebrating Shabbat
‘Erev Shabbat’ on Friday night is often the highlight of the week. The family gathers for the festive meal with special dishes and meaningful traditions—lighting of candles, as well as special songs, prayers, and blessings. Families often invite guests to share in the peace and joy of Shabbat.
Though each family has their own traditions, commonly included Erev Shabbat elements are:
- Lighting the Candles
- Blessing the Children
- Songs Like ‘Shalom Alechem’
- Special Tribute for the 'Woman of Valor'
- Kiddush (Blessing Over the Wine)
- Netilat Yadayim (Ritual Hand Washing)
- Blessing Over the Bread
1. Lighting the Candles
Before sunset, the woman of the home lights two candles for Shabbat. Some families add an additional candle for each member of the household. For example, besides the two Shabbat candles, one can light one candle for the spouse and one for each child. In our family, each daughter lights her own candle.
Light the candles, cover your eyes with your hands, and say:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם
אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו
וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שַׁבָּת
Baruch ata Adonai Elohenu Melech haolam,
asher kidshanu bemitzvotav
vetzivanu lehadlik ner shel shabbat.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe,
Who has sanctified us with His commandments,
and commanded us to light the Shabbat candles.
Feel free to add this addition from Matthew 5:14:
וְצִוָּנוּ לְהִיוֹת אוֹר לָעוֹלָם
vetzivanu lihiot or laolam.
and commanded us to be a light unto the world.
2. Blessing the Children
It is customary for the father to gently place his hands on the children’s heads and bless them with the traditional blessings, based on Genesis 48.
To sons, say:
יְשִׂמְךָ אֱלֹהיִם כְּאֶפְרַיְם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה
Yesimcha Elohim ke’Ephraim vechi-Menasheh.
May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.
To daughters, say:
יְשִׂימֵךְ אֱלֹהיִם כְּשָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה
Yesimech Elohim keSarah Rivka Rachel veLeah
May God make you like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah.
Continue with the Priestly Blessing from Numbers 6:23–27:
יְבָרֶכְךָ יהוה וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ
יָאֵר יהוה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ
יִשָּׂא יהוה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם
Yivarechecha Adonai veyishmerecha
Ya’er Adonai panav elecha vichuneka
Yisa Adonai panav elecha veyasem lecha shalom
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.
3. Shalom Aleichem (‘Peace Unto You’)
The song, ‘Shalom Aleichem,’ is a traditional song that welcomes and blesses the angels, the ‘messengers of peace’, whom we also read about in Psalm 91:11-12:
שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת מַלְאֲכֵי עֶלְיוֹן
מִמֶּלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא
בּוֹאֲכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁלוֹם מַלְאָכֵי עֶלְיוֹן
מִמֶּלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא
...בָּרְכוּנִי לְשָׁלוֹם
...צֵאתְכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם
Shalom aleichem mal'achei ha-sharet, mal'achei Elyon,
mi-melech malchei ha-melachim, haKadosh Baruch Hu.
Bo'achem le-shalom, mal'achei ha-shalom, mal'achei Elyon,
mi-melech malchei ha-melachim, haKadosh Baruch Hu.
Barchuni le-shalom…
Tzeitchem le-shalom…
Peace be upon you, ministering angels, angels of the Most High,
from the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.
Enter in peace, angels of peace, angels of the Most High,
from the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.
Bless me with peace, angels of peace…
Go in peace, angels of peace…
Continue, by reading from Psalm 91 and 121:
:כִּי מַלְאָכָיו יְצַוֶּה-לָךְ, לְשִׁמָרְךָ בְּכָל-דְּרָכֶיךָ
:יהוה יִשְׁמָר-צֵאתְךָ וּבוֹאֶךָ, מֵעַתָּה וְעַד-עוֹלָם
Ki malachav yetzaveh-lach, leshimarcha bechol-deracheicha
Adonai yishmor-tzetcha uvo'echa, me'atah ve'ad-olam:
He will command His angels about you to guard you in all your ways.
May the Lord guard your going out and your return, from now and for all time.
4. Eshet Chayil (‘Woman of Valor’)
‘Eshet Chayil’ is a Biblical poem from Proverbs 31:10-31, traditionally sung before Kiddush to honor the woman of the house. Eshet Chayil is an acrostic poem; meaning, each line begins with another letter of the Hebrew Alphabet. Some view Eshet Chayil as a metaphor for the Torah or the Jewish Nation. After reading Eshet Chayil, some homes return the blessing for the man of the house, by reading him a psalm (such as Psalm 1, 112, or 128).
אֵשֶׁת חַיִל מִי יִמְצָא, וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ
בָּטַח בָּהּ לֵב בַּעְלָהּ. וְשָׁלָל לא יֶחְסָר
גְּמָלַתְהוּ טוב וְלא רָע, כּל יְמֵי חַיֶּיהָ
דָּרְשָׁה צֶמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים, וַתַּעַשׂ בְּחֵפֶץ כַּפֶּיהָ
הָיְתָה כָּאֳנִיּות סוחֵר, מִמֶּרְחָק תָּבִיא לַחְמָהּ
וַתָּקָם בְּעוד לַיְלָה, וַתִּתֵּן טֶרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ, וְחֹק לְנַעֲרתֶיהָ
זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה וַתִּקָּחֵהוּ, מִפְּרִי כַפֶּיהָ נָטְעָה כָּרֶם
חָגְרָה בְעוז מָתְנֶיהָ, וַתְּאַמֵּץ זְרועתֶיהָ
טָעֲמָה כִּי-טוב סַחְרָהּ, לא-יִכְבֶּה בַלַּיְלָ נֵרָהּ
יָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁור, וְכַפֶּיהָ תָּמְכוּ פָלֶךְ
כַּפָּהּ פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי. וְיָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיון
לא-תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּׁלֶג, כִּי כָל-בֵּיתָהּ לָבֻשׁ שָׁנִים
מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה-לָּהּ, שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ
נודָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ, בְּשִׁבְתּו עִם-זִקְנֵי-אָרֶץ
סָדִין עָשְׂתָה וַתִּמְכּר, וַחֲגוֹר נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי
עוֹז-וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ, וַתִּשְׂחַק לְיום אַחֲרון
פִּיהָ פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה, וְתורַת-חֶסֶד עַל-לְשׁונָהּ
צוֹפִיָּה הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ, וְלֶחֶם עַצְלוּת לֹא תֹאכֵל
קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ, בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ
רַבּות בָּנות עָשׂוּ חָיִל, וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל-כֻּלָּנָה
שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיּפִי, אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת-יהוה הִיא תִתְהַלָּל
תְּנוּ-לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ, וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ
Eshet chayil mi yimtza? Verachok mip'ninim michrah.
Batach bah lev ba’lah, veshalal lo yechsar.
Gemalat’hu tov velo ra, kol yemei chayeha.
Darshah tzemer ufishtim, vata'as bechefetz kapeha.
Hayetah ka-oniyot socher, mimerchak tavi lachmah.
Vatakam be’od laylah, va-titen teref leveitah, vechok lena'aroteha.
Zamemah sadeh va-tikkachehu, mi-peri kapeha natah kerem.
Chagrah ve’oz motneha, va-te’ametz zero’oteha.
Ta'amah ki tov sachrah, lo yichbeh balailah nerah.
Yadeha shilchah bakishor, ve-kapeha tamchu falech.
Kafah parshah le’ani, ve-yadeha shilchah la’evyon.
Lo tirah leveitah misheleg, ki kol veitah lavush shanim.
Marvadim as’tah lah, shesh ve’argaman levushah.
Nodah bashe’arim ba’lah, beshivto im ziknei aretz.
Sadin as'tah va-timkor, vachagor natnah laKena’ani.
Oz vehadar levushah, vatischak leyom acharon.
Pihah patchah bechochmah, vetorat chesed al leshonah.
Tzofiyah halichot veitah, velechem atzlut lo tochal.
Kamu vaneha va-ye'ashruha, ba’lah vayehalelah.
Rabot banot asu chayil, ve-at alit al kulanah.
Sheker hachen vehevel hayofi, ishah yirat Adonai hi tithallal.
Tenu lah miperi yadeha, viyehaleluha bashe’arim ma’aseha.
A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far beyond pearls.
Her husband’s heart trusts in her, and he has no lack of gain.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and linen, and works with willing hands.
She is like a ship laden with merchandise, bringing her food from afar.
She rises while it is still night, providing food for her household, portions for her maids.
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength, and braces her arms for her tasks.
She sees that her business goes well; her lamp does not go out at night.
She holds the distaff in her hand, and grasps the spindle with her palms.
She reaches out her palm to the poor, and extends her hand to the needy.
She has no fear for her family when it snows, for all her household
is clothed in crimson wool.
She makes elegant coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple wool.
Her husband is well known in the gates, where he sits with the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband also praises her:
"Many women have excelled, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty vain, it is the God-fearing woman who deserves praise.
Give her from the fruit of her hands; let her deeds bring her praise in the gates.
5. Kiddush for Shabbat Evening
‘Kiddush’ means ‘Sanctification,’ and refers to God ‘setting aside’ or ‘separating’ the Shabbat from the six work days. The Kiddush reminds us of creation as well as of the Exodus from Egypt. The first part quotes Genesis 1:31-2:3. We drink only at the end of this entire section.
Hold a Kiddush cup with wine or grape juice, and say:
וַיְהִי-עֶרֶב וַיְהִי בֹקֶר יוֹם הַשִּׁשִּׁי
וַיְכֻלּוּ הַשָּׁמַיִם וְהָאָרֶץ וְכָל-צְבָאָם
וַיְכַל אֱלֹהִים בַּיּום הַשְּׁבִיעִי מְלַאכְתּו אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה
וַיִּשְׁבֹּת בַּיּום הַשְּׁבִיעִי מִכָּל-מְלַאכְתּו אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה
וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת-יוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי, וַיְקַדֵּשׁ אֹתוֹ
כִּי בוֹ שָׁבַת מִכָּל-מְלַאכְתּוֹ, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים לַעֲשׂוֹת:
סִבְרֵי מָרָנָן
(answer: ‘לְחַיִּים’)
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן. (answer: אמן)
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעולָם
אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְרָצָה בָנוּ
וְשַׁבַּת קָדְשׁוֹ בְּאַהֲבָה וּבְרָצוֹן הִנְחִילָנוּ
זִכָּרוֹן לְמַעֲשֵׂה בְרֵאשִׁית
כִּי הוּא יוֹם תְּחִלָּה לְמִקְרָאֵי קדֶשׁ,
זֵכֶר לִיצִיאַת מִצְרָיִם
כִּי בָנוּ בָחַרְתָּ וְאוֹתָנוּ קִדַּשְׁתָּ מִכָּל הָעַמִּים
וְשַׁבַּת קָדְשְׁךָ בְּאַהֲבָה וּבְרָצוֹן הִנְחַלְתָּנוּ.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה מְקַדֵּשׁ הַשַּׁבָּת. (answer: אמן)
Vayehi erev, vayehi boker yom hashishi:
Vayechulu hashamayim veha’aretz vechol tzeva’am
Vayechal Elohim bayom hash’vi’i melachto asher asa
Vayishbot bayom hash’vi’i mikol melachto asher asa:
Vay’varech Elohim et yom hash’vi’i vay’kadesh oto
Kee vo shabbat mi-kol m’lachto, asher bara Elohim la’asot:
Sabri meranan (answer: “lehayim”)
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei p’ri hagafen. (answer: “amen”)
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam
asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’ratza vanu
v’shabbat kod’sho b’ahava uv’ratzon hinchilanu
zikaron l’ma’aseh b’reishit
Ki hu yom t’chila l’mikra-ay kodesh,
zecher l’tziat mitzrayim
Ki vanu bacharta v’otanu kidashta mikol ha’amim
V’shabbat kodshecha b’ahava uvratzon hinchaltanu.
Baruch ata Adonai, mekadesh haShabbat. (answer: amen)
There was evening, and there was morning, the sixth day:
And the Heavens and the Earth and all they contained were completed:
and on the seventh day God rested from all the work that He had done.
And God rested on the seventh day from all the work that He had done.
And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it,
for on that day He rested from all His work He had created to do.
Pay attention (answer: lehayim, to life)
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine. (answer: amen)
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe,
who has sanctified us with His commandments and favored us,
and given us in love and favor His holy Shabbat as an inheritance,
as a remembrance of the act of creation.
For this day is the beginning of all holy days,
a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt.
For You chose us and sanctified us from all the nations,
and with love and favor gave us Your holy Shabbat as a heritage.
Blessed are You, O Lord, who sanctifies the Shabbat. (answer: amen)
Drink the wine or grape juice.
6. Netilat Yadayim (Ritual Hand Washing)
You may choose to include this beautiful tradition before meals with bread or matzah.
The ritual hand washing dates back to the Temple service, when the priests could only eat bread after washing their hands. ‘Netilat yadayim’ reminds us to lead our lives with sanctity:
“Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 20:7)
Some precede ‘netilat yadayim’ by reading Psalm 24, which mentions clean hands and a pure heart, as a meaningful reminder of our desire for a clean heart.
How to do ‘netilat yadayim’:
- Make sure your hands are clean beforehand (remember, this is about ritual)
- We don’t speak between the hand washing, the blessing over the bread, and until swallowing a piece of bread.
- Fill a washing cup with enough water for both of your hands.
- Pour the water twice on your dominant hand and then twice on your other hand, and say:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל נְטִילַת יָדַיִם
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, asher kidshanu bemitzvotav vitzivanu al netilat yadayim.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to wash hands.
Dry your hands with a small towel and try not to speak between the hand washing, the blessing over the bread, and until eating a piece of the bread.
7. Blessing Over the Bread
The Shabbat table is set with two loaves of challah to remember that the Israelites would gather a double portion of manna on the sixth day. Today, we also prepare ahead for Shabbat, which allows for a much needed Shabbat rest at the end of our busy week.
We dip the challah into some salt, as a reminder of the salt applied to each sacrifice and offering brought to the Temple. In addition, the food on our table is meant to keep us healthy and extend the length of our lives. Salt, too, has the special quality to preserve food—extending its life beyond its natural limits. The Bible calls on us to “choose life” and we are encouraged, even commanded, to make choices that will extend our lives both literally and figuratively, by living a life filled with meaning in the light of the Messiah. Yeshua calls us “the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13) May Shabbat table be a reminder to bring positive and quality flavor to our lives and to bring out the best in others!
Remove the challah cover, hold the challah in both hands, and say:
בָּרוּך אַתָּה יהוה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶך הָעוֹלָם הָמוֹצִיא לֶחֶם מִן הַאָרֶץ - אמן
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, hamotzi lechem min ha’aretz. (Answer: amen)
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth. (Answer: amen)
Break off pieces of challah for each person.
‘Shabbat Shalom’!
Now, some just say: “Shabbat Shalom!”, wishing each other a peaceful Shabbat, while others sing the ‘Shabbat Shalom’-song.
At our home, during our special Shabbat meal, we love to take turns in blessing each other, such as for an act of kindness or something special the person did during the past week. For example: I bless my spouse, who blesses one of the children, and we continue until everyone has a turn to bless once and be blessed once, too. Do you have a special Shabbat tradition at your Shabbat table that turns this weekly meal into a returning feast?
May your Shabbat be lovely, and may it replenish you with the Shabbat rest at the end of your busy week! Shabbat Shalom!
